Sticky Fingers

Jered and I were out and about running errands today when we decided to stop by our local book shop and take a break to read a few magazines and have a cuppa joe (decaf, of course). While we were sitting in the cafe perusing magazines and books, two fathers and their two young children (both in strollers) rolled up to the cafe to get a snack. One of the children was a little girl who couldn’t have been older than 3 or 4. I just happened to look at her as I saw her take a lollipop from one of the shelves and place it next to her leg in the stroller. Her father looked back at her and asked her what she wanted for a snack and she nervously answered him. Once his back was turned again I saw her take the lollipop and place it behind her back in the stroller and sit back so that her dad couldn’t see that she had taken it. This little girl clearly had experience taking things as she knew just where to put the lollipop and how to hide it from her dad.

About 5 minutes later the childrens’ mothers met up with the fathers at the cafe. The little girl’s mother asked the girl to come and help her hold her drink as she maneuvered a younger child in a baby carrier. I was shocked as I saw the little girl scoot her self in her stroller so that she didn’t have to get up (and so that her lollipop would remain hidden behind her back) to help her mother.

This incident shocked me on a couple of different levels- I realize that children don’t have an adult understanding of how the world works and that this episode of “sticky fingers” is nothing that out of the ordinary, but it gave me pause. This little girl knew she was doing something wrong- she knew she needed to hide the fact that she had taken the lollipop, and yet she still decided to take it. She never asked her father for the lollipop, just quietly took it off the shelf and hid it away. Where did she learn to do this? Somewhere along the line she had to have learned that stealing was not okay (thus the hiding), but on the flip side of that she also learned that she could do things that were not okay.

Without boring you all too much, my dissertation topic focuses pretty heavily on moral development and the role that parents and families play in shaping childrens’ values, beliefs and behaviors. This little girl managed to bring up all sorts of new questions related to my dissertation, but more importantly, related to the new role Jered and I will be taking on as parents. How will we communicate our own values and beliefs to our child in a way that translates beyond a simple recitation of rules of what people should and should not do? How would we handle this same situation with our son or daughter? Needless to say, we had a lot of interesting conversation fodder the rest of the afternoon. Becoming a parent is a terrifying thing!

Baby Uni is due two weeks from today- I have been having some mild contractions on and off, but we are pretty sure that the baby will be hanging in there for at least a week or so more. We managed to get quite a bit done this weekend around the house, and we were also able to get quite a bit of relaxing in! We are so excited to finally meet this baby- as crazy as this whole parenthood thing is bound to be, we can’t help but feel ready to start our lives as a little family of three!

Filed under Pregnancy by esther |